It’s hard to define yourself with words. The truth is, you’re not just the sum of your job, the one thing you’re good at, or your main hobby. Defining yourself that way would be like describing a dish using only one of its ingredients. You’re the combination of all these things, and more. My passions, the things I dislike, the music I listen to, the food I eat, how I spend my free time, how I spend my busy time — all of these shape who I am.
When I meet someone new, it always reminds me that it takes time to truly see the full picture of another person. Initially, you get a simple description, often defined by their job, appearance, and style. But as you learn more about their past experiences, passions, and aspirations, the two-dimensional, black-and-white version evolves into a vibrant, three-dimensional portrait.
I believe that everyone is interesting in their own way, shaped by their unique experiences, passions, and dreams. However, much like in marketing, the way people present themselves influences how others perceive them.
That said, I find the discovery process beautiful. A bit of mystery and surprise makes getting to know someone exciting. It’s tempting to share as much as possible about yourself when you want to impress someone, especially if they ask the right questions and are a good listener. In those moments, I remind myself that it’s not all about me; it’s far more engaging to learn about the other person than to rehash what I already know about myself.
Confidence plays a big role, too. The way you present yourself can significantly influence how others perceive you. But it’s challenging to confidently describe certain facets of yourself while remaining honest, especially when you’re still figuring out those aspects.
For example, I’ve recently started dedicating more time to music production. It’s something I’ve always done as a hobby, but now I’m taking it more seriously. I’m not yet certain if I can sustain this lifestyle or if I’ll enjoy it in the long run. So, when people ask what I do, I often hesitate. Which part of myself should I share? Most people expect you to talk about what earns you money, and since I don’t make money from music (yet), I feel reluctant to define myself by it. But I know that’s wrong — money doesn’t need to validate passion.
Self-presentation can be a powerful tool. Sometimes, I think the way you present yourself can even become a strength. Repeatedly talking about one of your skills or goals to others can help you believe it’s truly happening. When so many ideas and dreams remain trapped in your mind, sharing them with others can make them feel more tangible and remind you that you’re closer to achieving them than you realize. That’s something I’ve come to understand for myself.
In the end, none of it matters if you’re not actively “doing” things. You need to pursue what excites you, to bring your ideas to life. If you’re not passionate about your identity and the things that define you, no one else will be (at least not for long, until they discover the real you). I recently told a friend: “The most attractive thing about a person is their excitement for what they do, when they have passion for something, no matter what it is.”
So, keep doing the things you love.